ATTENTION SEXY-TERY: USEFUL TIPS TO TAME DOWN YOUR FIERCE BOSS

Note: Inspired to write this after coming back from my two days leave. Office in hustle, Boss in ferocity. But me, I didn't sweat a drop. I'm a super cool sexy-tery, so are you ready to learn from me?

Meet Mr. Lion King. Never will be; CEO of the Year

Ching klong klong! Ching klong klong!

Behold! Behold! Bad mood today? **Yessssssssssssssssssssss.... (suara dari background)

Boss spurted sarcasms on you? ** Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... (bagus!)

Keep it down, keep it low with my professional tips *ahaks!* Macamlah ko pandai sangat nak handle kekalutan, kann? - which I am about to give them to you. The girls keep on complaining to me today regarding office. Youngsters, young hot blood. They need to be in control.

1. Stay Cool

First and foremost, whatever you boss say or yell at you, please don't take it seriously. Inhale, exhale..... don't even answer back! IT'S A RUDENESS. Try to understand her/his yells then return in opposite manner, i.e.

Boss: You bloody hell bitch! Can't you see I'm piled up with papers??? Tak nampak?

You: It's OK boss, just jot down whatever you need, I'll do my best to help you. (in a very soft and sweet tone)

Nescaya, boss anda akan menurunkan kadar volume suaranya dek kelembutan dan keayuan anda yang penuh dengan kepura-puraan itu. Keji tak skill ini?.

2. Cover 'Kantoi'

We can't live without YM, Facebook, YouTube, etc etc. These are like supplements to our daily headaches. Who says you can't do all of these while working? Bullshit. Kalau kau pikirkan kau boleh, *kau boleh!* kau hampir boleh melakukan!* ambik ko siap ngan backing singer lagik. Ha, don't stick your fingers and brain together by knowing the A,B,C keyboards only. Prioritize your work. If you're halfway done, you may pause and go indulge yourself with YM, FB, YT etc etc but should your boss suddenly appears, please quickly press - Window button (aler, yang ada lambang macam tingkap tu) + 'D'. Voila! It will bring you to the desktop for less than a second. Gaban tukar baju pun tak selaju tu, ngerti?

3. Act Serious

Please spend less talking time while doing your works especially girls. Less gossiping please but more to acting busy. Oh yes, if you're smiling before your monitor while on YM, people will consider you as a lunatic but try to do the other way around. Masa kau tengah online tu buat buat serius. Be very serious. OMG! Your boss will surely recommend you for promotion soon! *lol*

4. Know Your Boss Needs

I'm not teaching you how to kiss your boss butt, bodek-bodek ni tak main ye adik-adik? I'm a Diva, people worship me. OK? *lol* Am so boastful, hahaha.. My ex boss loves coffee and must be ready by 10 a.m. every morning, no lunch for him but he will substitute with yoghurt, raisins or plums. So there will be no space for him/her to look for your mistakes no matter how cute you are.

5. Always Be Prepared

Office life is like a battlefield. You would never know when will your enemy come to ambush you. That's why I said, be prepared. Think of badminton game. You are smashed by your opponent's shuttlecock and always get ready to smash him/ her back. Always be ready with your boss' mood. You will know in a glimpse when you greet your boss 'Good Morning' whether he/she is in a good mood or otherwise. Got it?

Trust me they really works! Therefore, if you really follow my tips you will be likely to survive the office's bitchy and full of cruelty dirty politics. It's not applicable to the bosses, you may try it on your colleagues too. After this no more low self-esteemed you, no mas!

Hah, sudah-sudahlah tu memekak. We're wrapping up now. Till then, remember what I share with you here. Muchas gracias y adios!

Don't ever mess with yours truly,