Irene Kuvakas - July 1, 1927 to Oct 25 2009

My mom passed away a few weeks ago. She had been struggling for a while. Not physically, but mentally. Mom wasn't mentally ill, not in the sense most folks would think. She was having a hard time remembering things. At first, it was conversations she had taken part in a few days prior. As things began to progress, it became events and chats that had happened more recently.

She was able to handle her daily routine pretty well. It was the unexpected things that cropped up in her day that would cause her some distress and discomfort. She would enjoy visits from me or Kelly but they were hard on her because they threw her daily schedule into disarray. She tried to hide it because she enjoyed the visits so much but they were hard on her nonetheless.

Earlier in their lives, Mom and Dad were, literally inseparable. That Mom did so well after Dad passed away in 1990 surprised all of us. Dad doted over her and managed their affairs, mostly by himself. They loved each other desperately and beautifully. I knew that his passing would be very hard on her and it was....on all of us. But Mom began to demonstrate a resilience and determination that I never had seen in her before. She began making her own decisions and they were good ones. She integrated into a series of social groups in the local churches and made quick and easy friends with a number of the women who attended them.

As Mom got older, she remained active and vital. In spite of our repeated encouragements to move to Virginia, she wanted to stay in Youngstown, Ohio. Other than 3 short years in Florida, Mom spent her entire life in Youngstown. While I saw it as a place to escape from, Mom saw it as her hometown made more so by Dad's going to be with the Lord. She was familiar with it and she was comfortable there. She loved me and our family as deeply as she did Dad. I know there were times she wanted us closer but being where they had met and grew together meant so much to her, she could never leave.

Not too long ago, Mom fell down at home. Her primary caregiver my cousin Jimmy (an angel in every respect, their picture is below), got her to the hospital right away. She had not seriously injured herself but a change had occurred. The delicate line between reality and Mom's memories began to blur. The longer she stayed in the hospital, the more vague that line got.

The Doctors think Mom had a series of small strokes during that time. That's when the mental struggle escalated and her memory began to get somewhat muddled.

As Mom's mind fought to keep the past separated from the present, the events and people she remembered were an amazing testimony to what she held most dear. She remembered her family. all of them. For a few, short days, she was in the presence of all of them, from our children, Ruth and Jason, to her parents and her father-in-law. Some of these beautiful people have been dead for almost 50 years but they were, for a short time, reunited in Mom's mind as she remembered them and enjoyed their company for one last, happy family reunion. "I saw Mom today." she would say. Or, "Pop (her father-in-law) was here. I would like to go home to Bentley Avenue."

Towards the end, when it became clear Mom was failing, we stopped trying to tell her that the house on Bentley Avenue was torn down 30 years ago and that Pop died 40 years ago. She was content and happy. Her only distress would rise up when she would realize she was in a strange hospital room surrounded by people she didn't know.

Trying to function with a cloudy memory was hard on Mom. She would forget that she wasn't fully able to walk and try to get around on her own. About three weeks ago, Mom took a fall and broke her leg. During the operation to repair the fracture, she had another stroke and partial paralysis set in. Along with it came feeding tubes and difficulty talking. Kelly was with her during the last conversation I had with her. It was on the phone. All she could manage to say was, "I love you. "

Mom slipped peacefully and quietly into the presence of the Lord shortly after 3:00 on Sunday, Oct 25. Two days prior, Kelly got to share the gospel with her and Mom was lucid enough to affirm her faith and trust in the Lord......a gift from God to those of us she left behind.

It was harder than I thought it would be. Mom was struggling and her passing is a blessing in every way. But it's still painful. I still find myself, almost hourly, thinking about Youngstown and thinking about calling Mom.

It was this way with Dad too. I've come to realize that you never really get over it...you just learn to live with it. Kelly and I are praising the Lord that, in his mercy, He took Mom home. We're also thankful that He will sustain us through our time of grief and that "....joy comes in the morning." Death is part of life. For those that believe in Jesus Christ and have received Him as Lord and Savior, it's not final....it's the next step closer to God.

It may be a while, but we'll see you again, Mom. We miss you.