The “Curmudgeonly” Gardener by Gardener Dave

(A few homely comments on gardening, offered by someone who has “been there and back”, and who apparently feels the need to sound off about some of the things that can happen while on the trip)

Favorite Quote: “I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died”
Richard Diran – from Curmudgeon Online


• If it’s not blooming NOW, it’s a weed!

• Never buy small, green garden tools. (Guess why).

• Buy a plant, feed it, water it, nurse it… and it will likely die. Next time you go for a walk, you will see a big healthy one growing out of a crack in somebody’s sidewalk.

• Automatic” sprinklers and drip systems become a lifelong “hobby”.

• Bindweed is the true Arnie Schwarzenegger of weeds, you think it’s been terminated, and it says “I’ll be baack!”

• Young yards have too much sun, old yards have too much shade.

• A Colorado potting rule: Small flowerpots WILL dry out in 5 minutes.

• If you want to know what squirrels and skunks love to dig in, go on vacation.

• You can parboil your vegetables (or flowers) with water from a garden hose that has been lying in the sun.

• Dragging your garden hoses is the very best way to knock down and break your plants.

• Grass grows the best in flower beds and vegetable gardens.

• Deadheading your flowers is like painting the Golden Gate Bridge… As soon as you finish, it’s time to start over.

• Colorado has at least 8 seasons… summer, fall, winter, spring, winter, spring, winter, spring...