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Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Gays who want to blow stuff up

Marine Recruiters Visit Gay Center in Oklahoma - NYTimes.com:

Gays who want to blow stuff up - there's now a place for you in the US Marine Corps!

But looking back at the USMC's recruiting posters, one wonders whether they haven't subconsciously been recruiting those folks all along:



Ya know, I always thought that this guy looked a little light in the loafers.

BTW, news media covering the Marine recruiters at the "Gay Center" in Oklahoma actually outnumbered the (presumed) gays who came in to ask about joining the Marines. Don't really expect a flood of recruits into the military with the end of DADT.

Well, except, you know, the Navy.

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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Abolish the TSA and adopt Archie Bunker security

Glenn Reynolds, perhaps only half tongue in cheek, says,
ABOLISH THE TSA. TELL PASSENGERS “IF SOMEONE TRIES TO HIJACK THE PLANE, BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HIM.” WE’D BE BETTER OFF.
This was in response to Jeffrey Goldberg's column, "TSA’s Forced Indignities Don’t Make Us Safer." But maybe Archie Bunker had the right idea about 40 years ago.



Passengers are the first, and sometimes last, line of defense. Remember Richard Reid, a.k.a. the Shoe Bomber?
A few minutes later, Moutardier found Reid leaned over in his seat. Her attempts to get his attention failed. After asking "What are you doing?" Reid grabbed at her, revealing one shoe in his lap, a fuse which led into the shoe, and a lit match. She tried grabbing Reid twice, but he pushed her to the floor each time, and she yelled for help, and then ran to get water. When another flight attendant, Cristina Jones, arrived to try to subdue him, he fought her and bit her thumb and Moutardier threw water in his face. The 6 foot 4 inch (193 cm) tall, 200+ pound (90+ kg) Reid was next subdued by several passengers on the airliner, and then bound up using plastic handcuffs, seatbelt extensions, and headphone cords. A physician on board the airliner administered to Reid a tranquilizer that he found in the emergency medical kit of the airliner.
And how could you forget Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, popularly known as the Underwear Bomber who tried to blow up NWA 253 on Christmas Day, 2009?
Abdulmutallab spent about 20 minutes in the bathroom as the flight approached Detroit, and then covered himself with a blanket after returning to his seat. Other passengers then heard popping noises, smelled a foul odor, and some saw Abdulmutallab’s trouser leg and the wall of the plane on fire. Fellow passenger Jasper Schuringa, a Dutch film director, jumped on Abdulmutallab and subdued him as flight attendants used fire extinguishers to douse the flames.[121] Abdulmutallab was taken toward the front of the airplane cabin, was seen to have lost his trousers due to the fire, and had burns on his legs.[122] When asked by a flight attendant what he had in his pocket, he replied: “Explosive device.”
But surely we are safe now that the TSA strips 95-year-old, dying women of their Depends.

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Sunday, January 16, 2011

Seahawks fall to climate of hate in Chicago

Climate of hate in the Windy City
You should have known something like this was going to happen. The vitriol and anger in our nation's sports talk has never been harsher - and we may as well face it: most of it is coming from Chicago Bears Fans.

So today a squad of violent men, emboldened by the climate of hate in Chicago towards any of "Da Bears'" opponents, committed murder. Murder most foul. They killed the Seattle Seahawks' chances of playing in the Super Bowl. The Seahawks were sent to their football grave. The Bears beat them - beat them, mind you - 35-24.

The Bears, urged to their lethal deeds by radio commentators and fans, were merciless. With quarterback Jay Cutler at the helm, the mayhem they committed upon the hapless Seahawks was relentless. This is what sports has come to, fellow Americans: open combat instead of friendly competition.

Seattle tight end John Carlson was so badly mauled by a Chicago defender that he had to leave the game after being beaten nearly senseless. He was diagnosed with a concussion. So was teammate Marcus Trufant.

Chicago's climate of hate instigators
"I heard some Chicago fans yelling, 'Hurt him!'" a player told reporters afterward. "They were shouting, "Kill 'em' and 'get him, get him!' It was clear to me that the Bears were simply doing what their fans told them to do. They even had uniformed women on the sidelines actually helping people cheer the Bears on to more violence."

Another player added, "Yeah." Both men were admitted to the hospital where they will remain overnight. Seattle Coach Pete Carroll was said to be concerned about the injuries meted upon his players.

"There has been a climate of hate building here in Chicago against us all week long," said a highly-placed team official after the game. "It started with that sports talk radio figure - you all know who I mean - saying that he hoped the Bears would just destroy us. A caller said the Bears should show us no mercy. Another said he wanted the Bears to crush us. Now we've got two men in the hospital. With all the harsh language and vitriol in this city, it's no surprise that things turned out the way they did."

This reporter contacted the White House to get Chicago native President Obama's reaction.

"They brought a knife to the fight," the president responded through a spokesman. "We brought a gun. It's the Chicago way."

Once the game ended, Daily Kos founder Markos Moulitsas tweeted, "Mission accomplished, Sarah Palin."

And New York Times columnist Paul Krugman hastily blogged, "I am so conflicted. On the one hand, I decry the hate speech and verbal intimidation that Chicago carried out against Seattle because Seattle is one of the most liberal cities in America. So that would mean that Chicago is full of right-wing haters. But on the other hand, it's President Obama's city, Rahm Emmanuel is running for mayor there and Chicago has been under control of the Democrat party machine for generations. So I am just going to suck my thumb awhile."

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